IF you don't know what you're looking for, just click anything. It's all equally interesting.

Trend-esday: 11-19-14 (why do this crazy thing?)

Trend-esday: 11-19-14 (why do this crazy thing?)

Trend-esday: 11-19-14

Every Wednesday I take a snapshot of what’s trending from one of the more popular websites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Google and use it as the basis for one of three literary devices: a poem, a short story, or a short article. Every topic has to be referenced at least once and it has to be 500 words or less.

Enjoy.

Today’s Trend-esday Offering comes from Yahoo:

            It’s hard to know exactly where to start with Trend-esday today because when I searched for #1 trending topic, “Christy Mack,” the filter settings on my search engine refused to return the results. Odd, I thought, until I saw the one item that did show up on the sidebar, a little Wikipedia blurb that informed that “Christy Mack is an pornographic actress…” I quit reading there. It explained why I’d never heard of her, but what kind of outlandish thing does a porn star have to do to start trending? I’m sure there are crazier things to do than “get naked and do stuff for the cameras,” but darned if I can think of any.

            Next, “Nicki Minaj boyfriend.” I didn’t even want to know. I still don’t want to know. Let’s not know, shall we? Let’s just be content in our knowledge that such a thing exists and be happy for the couple.

            Or not happy.

            As you do.

            “Emma Stone” is a pretty likeable actress, I think. She was good in “The Help” and really was the bright spot in Sony’s attempt to reboot Spider-Man. Her placement in the list of all things that trend has to do with, and I’m quoting here, her “smokin’” appearance in a picture related to the production of “Cabaret.” And whether that’s a play or a movie, or an illustrated children’s book, I don’t know (it’s probably not the last one, though).

            Checking in at #4 was another term on which my search engine declined to comment (by the by, the topics in the Trending section are all clickable, so when you select it Yahoo! automatically pulls up the search results for them and when those were blocked I declined to pursue the matters further). Apparently the term “gay bull” will result in naughty words being displayed on the screen and so the Yahoo! automatic search engine kept them to itself. I can only hypothesize that somewhere a bull is displaying perceived homosexual tendencies and this has been declared as news-worthy.

            Moving on.

            Number 5 and 6 were the first non-living entities to make the list with “Galaxy Note Edge” and “Volkswagen Golf,” respectively. Can Volkswagens golf? Can they golf better than me? Shout-out to German Engineering.

            Comedian “David Chappelle” is apparently breaking rank and insisting that Donald Sterling should not have been forced into selling his majority ownership of the Los Angeles Clippers over his racist words, thoughts, and deeds. I agree with Mr. Chappelle, but since he himself is a black man his opinion probably matters more than mine in the grand scheme of public perception.

            “Brock Lesnar” is considering a return to the UFC. I might have been excited by this if I had known he’d ever left. Did he retire a champion? Is he coming back to restore his honor? Is that even his real name?

            “Kendall Jenner”….kin to the Kardashian circus….connected to Justin Beiber somehow…enough said.

            And finally….“women’s leggings?” Really? Amidst the sex-infused starlets, the testosterone-fueled mayhem, the newest and neatest gadgets, and rogue comedian we get women’s leggings? Women’s legs would make sense to be included in that side-show of topics…but the –gings that go over them…I’m befuddled.

            But, to be honest, the entire collection befuddles me. Why are we interested in certain things like the personal relationships of a pop-star with arguable talent and the personal life of a faux-celebrity’s younger sister (half-sister?)? What difference does it make to us if some adult film star does…whatever it was she did (still not looking)? Brock Lesnar…a phone… a male bovine with unnatural tendencies…so what? I’ve been doing this for a few weeks now and I’ve yet to find a rhyme or reason to it all. The collection of things that the internet sees as “trending” sometimes amuses me and sometimes alarms me. And, honestly, sometimes it interests me.

            Yes, yes, sometimes I click the bait and bite the hook (not for any of those, though, except maybe Volkswagen Golf because who doesn’t want to see a Volkswagen golf?) but give ma link related to Sherlock, Doctor Who, or Christopher Noland and I’m a sucker. We all have weird and sometimes unhealthy interests (I’m putting my curiosity about Tim Burton’s latest projects in the “unhealthy” category). I could go on about how this reminds of how dark and sinful the world is, and it does, but it also reminds me of how weird and wonderful we all are.

            And that’s kind of a fun thing to remember at least once a week.


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