Gregory the Pig/Dog: An Excerpt
Well, since my family added a member a week ago today my writing schedule has been off. And by "off," I mean non-existent. So, to make up for it, I am including an excerpt of my current literary project. Enjoy!
Gregory the Pig/Dog:
Gregory is a pig.
And also a dog.
No one is exactly sure how that happened.
Maybe a pig fell in love with a dog, or a dog with a pig,
or maybe it was a secret experiment gone wrong.
But it happened somehow, because there he is…Gregory the Pig/Dog.
Gregory lives with his human, a small female person that is most often called “Reese” by the other, bigger and scarier persons that live in and visit her house. Reese loves Gregory and Gregory loves Reese because she’s the only person who looks at him like he’s a normal animal and not a weird creature that defies all logic and scientific data.
Gregory has one non-person friend in the whole-wide world, a cockroach from Texas named Blake.
Blake is weird.
And Gregory was right in the middle of explaining to Blake just exactly HOW weird when Blake asked a question that would forever change both their lives.
“Why don’t you ever share your pizza?”
“-and when you lick your antennas it just grosses everyone out, why are you asking me about pizza?”
Blake licked his antennas and stuck them to the top of his head. “Whenever the persons give you leftover food you share it with me, except when it’s pizza. When it’s pizza you eat all of it and give me leftover-leftovers. That’s not very nice.”
Gregory sat back on his not quite-dog and not-quite pig haunches and wagged his mostly-dog tail back and forth across the ground. Blake was right. Gregory was very stingy with his pizza. He remembered giving his friend a pepperoni once, but that was only because it had fallen on the ground and gotten dirt on it. Blake hadn’t seemed to mind.
“Did you know,” said Blake, in the sad, quiet voice he only ever used when he about to say something very personal, “that I’ve never had pizza? Ever.”
A very heavy feeling was spreading from Gregory’s shoulder roast through his spare ribs and up past his expanse of bacon. He felt bad for his friend and felt even worse that he had deprived his friend of the wonders of pizza. What kind of friend would do that? Pizza was wonderful, amazing, the best thing ever!
“Blake,” said Gregory, rising to all four of his paw-like hooves (or hoof-like paws, depending on how you looked at it) and striking the best heroic pose an overweight Pig/Dog could muster. “We are going to find you some pizza.”