President Trump Announces Plan to Pardon All Political Prisoners from Evil Liberal’s Longtime War on Christmas
New York City, NY – Speaking to the live audience that monitors the his every move via the Trump Tower elevator camera on C-SPAN Tuesday, the President-Elect announced that one of his first actions post-inauguration will be to set free and pardon every one of “the tremendously amazing American citizens” who have been illegally detained and imprisoned as part of the Obama-led, Soros-backed, Muslim-approved War on Christmas.
“So many people, I mean, more people than you even know – and I know this, because I’m a very smart person. So many people have been thrown in these secret prisons around America because they said ‘Merry Christmas’ to store clerk,” PEOTUS Trump said directly to the camera. “It’s terrible, I mean, very terrible, how many American’s have vanished into these awful, awful prisons for no reason. No reason at all. I’ll fix it. I can fix it. I will fix it. It’s fixed.”
The War on Christmas, which began as a series of covert operations launched near the end of George W. Bush’s presidency quickly escalated into a full-blown conflict soon after Obama was elected as his successor. While no media outlet keeps an exact count due to the tremendous political pressure exerted by the Illuminati to live in denial, it is though that no fewer than three ship’s worth of prisoners are kept sequestered away in a secret prison-network throughout the United States.
Trump said the War on Christmas was brought to his attention by journalists Todd Starnes and Alex Jones shortly after he began his campaign. “People should be able to say ‘Merry Christmas’ whenever they want,” Trump added. “And I’ll make sure that happens.”