Omaha, NE – Joe Carpenter, a plumber working in the greater-Omaha area, was sucked into a black hole of his own making when he foolishly argued that America is a Christian nation while also advocating for Trump using the “we’re not electing a pastor” logical fallacy. The unholy marriage of these two poor excuses for argumentation resulted in a slight tear in the fabric of reality and the ensuing vortex transported Carpenter to parts unknown.
Says local scientist Neil De’Grass Bison, “Mr. Carpenter’s fatal error was not so much his attempt to use a flawed premise in conjunction with a non sequitur, though that is awful and no one should do it, but that he attempted to pair that particular premise with that particular non sequitur. The resulting strain on the laws of nature was too great and the universe just broke.”
He paused before repeating, “The universe just broke.”
Mr. Carpenter was not married and leaves no family behind, but he was a regular contributor to Facebook groups such as The Reformed Pub and Conservative Republicans Against Pelosi as well as member of the local plumbers guild.
Bison says he does not know if Carpenter could have survived the incident, but added, “If Mr. Carpenter was indeed transported to some reality compatible with human life, one hopes it is a reality in which Facebook does not exist, lest the incident be repeated.