Violence Erupts at Trump Rally as Protestors, Attendees Fight Amongst Themselves
San Jose, CA – Police were called out to deal with a violent situation at Donald Trump’s most recent campaign event in San Jose. Expecting to find protestors at odds with Trump supporters, local authorities were surprised to find that the respective sides were fighting amongst themselves and little-to-no violence was crossing from one party to the other.
“We arrived to find that, among the protestors, a gang-related fringe element had picked a fight with some hipster-Marxists and the violence was spreading through the crowd,” said police Sergeant William Forster. “Meanwhile, within the venue itself a collection of Neo-Nazis had taken umbrage with the presence of some big-government, big-business types and were doing some significant damage.”
Not everyone was in on the melee, however, as the more moderate, level-headed components of both sides attempted to make peace early in the confrontation. “A couple of hippies tried to pass a peace pipe out among the protestors, but when they couldn’t confirm its content were organic, things got uglier,” said one protestor, speaking with an ice-pack on their face.
A group of veterans tried to quell the violence among the Trump supporters, but once it was discovered that one had sustained injuries while deployed and the others had “never killed a Muslim,” they were decried as false patriots and poor soldiers and became yet another target in the scrum.
“When you get that many angry, violently-minded people together, bad things happen,” Forster remarked.
When asked if was referring to the protestors or the Trump-voters, Forster declined to comment.