Pastor is Swarmed and Eaten Alive by Horde of Pokémon After Asking Members to Stop Playing Pokémon GO During the Service
Joplin, MO – Calvary Chapel is in search of a new pastor after the untimely unfortunate death of their former Senior Pastor, Rev. George Shaw. Rev. Shaw was killed this past Sunday morning by a horde of angry Pokémon after confronting a few members from the pulpit about their habit of trying to “catch them all” during his sermon.
According to reports Calvary Chapel’s location shared that of a virtual gym for players of the new and addictive Pokémon GO game and as a result several members succumbed to the temptation of continuing their online quest even during Calvary Chapel’s Sunday morning and evening worship times. This, along with what Rev. Shaw called “an infestation of phone-clutching geeks” upset the pastor, particularly once an unidentified member shouted “I got Pikachu!” during his sermon’s opening joke.
When Dr. Shaw paused to rebuke the member and all those partaking in “mindless thumb-tapping” during the service, a horde of Pokémon materialized from thin air and descended on the pastor in fury.
No official word regarding Pikachu’s alleged involvement in the attack.