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Interim Pastor at Calvary Chapel Swarmed by Angry Pokémon GO Players after Declaring Pokémon “Demonic Creatures”

Interim Pastor at Calvary Chapel Swarmed by Angry Pokémon GO Players after Declaring Pokémon “Demonic Creatures”

Joplin, MO – Interim pastor Josh Kline, appointed to the position two days after the untimely demise of Calvary Chapel’s former pastor, was mobbed and angrily scratched by several members and visitors after taking to Twitter to declare that Pokémon are “demonic creatures.”

His post was in response to the Pokémon-related death of his predecessor in the pulpit, and also partially born-out of his long standing resentment to the 90’s and early 00’s cartoons he was never allowed to watch. After an initial bevy of angry replies and sarcastic quote-Tweets, an angry mob of both members and visitors gathered at the church to protest-play Pokémon GO in the church lawn.

Eventually, Kline reported, “the players became possessed by the spirits represented by their evil, anime avatars and attacked me.” When asked if he antagonized them in any way, Kline responded that they were “angered by his tireless ministrations of the gospel to them as they played, and especially by the binding and covering prayers” he prayed aloud while laying hands on their devices.

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Pastor is Swarmed and Eaten Alive by Horde of Pokémon After Asking Members to Stop Playing Pokémon GO During the Service

Pastor is Swarmed and Eaten Alive by Horde of Pokémon After Asking Members to Stop Playing Pokémon GO During the Service