David Crowder's Beard Holds Press Conference to Announce New Solo Venture
Atlanta, GA - David Crowder's legendary facial hair hosted a press conference earlier this week to announce that it is parting ways with the popular Christian musician in order to launch a solo venture.
"David and I have had a nice run," the magnificent specimen of fortitude, perseverance, and good grooming habits announced to a small crowd of media, "but after being together for, well, most of our life, I've decided it's time for me to branch out and try new things."
While beard's decision to launch a solo entertainment venture that will "transcend genres, categories, and perhaps even reality itself" came as a shock to many, it was no secret to entertainment insiders that Crowder and his beard has not been on the best of terms as of late. The beard was seen by some as over-aggressive at time with its stage presence, grabbing at the mic, distracting Crowder's audience with its frantic waving and incessant motion, and often overshadowing its human-host at press conferences. Most were optimistic that the entertainer and his sidekick could smooth things over and make it work, but if a break was to be had, the prevailing wisdom had been that Crowder would cut the beard out of his act, instead of the other way around.
The beard, taking the stage name "Power of the Nazirite", did not give many details about the launch of its new career, but did confirm he will not be finishing Crowder's current Neon Steeple tour.